Spiritual Sundays: Secret Santa

Last year I wrote this story as a submission to a blog about service. Because we're in the middle of "Secret Santa Season" right now, I thought it would be an appropriate time to share it with you! :-)

It’s just after seven o’clock on a Wednesday night as I drive slowly past the single-story brick house. There are lights on, but the blinds in the front window are closed. Excellent sign. Less chance I’ll be caught.

I turn around at the end of the cul-de-sac and drive slowly back the way I came, past the house again, this time carefully planning my strategic approach. There’s a thick row of hedges right up against the wall- if I can stay low and hug the bush, I should be able to make a clean getaway.

I begin to slow the minivan and carefully pull off to the side of the road just past the house. I debate leaving the car running for a quick getaway or turning it off to avoid drawing attention to the lights…I finally decide to turn it off. I’ll lay low and wait, then I’ll go once it’s all clear.

I pull my long black coat tighter around me, then tug on a black cap that I borrowed from my husband, pulling it low over my ears. I grab the black scarf from the seat next to me and wrap it around my neck, pulling it up over my mouth and nose as well. Better safe than sorry.

“Mommy, you look like a ninja!!”

“SHHH!!!” I say. Then I stop. We’re in the car. Nobody can hear me. Boy, am I jumpy.

“I mean, I know Mommy looks funny, sweetie,” I say in a normal voice, “Just sit tight in the car for a second and I’ll be right back.”

I grab the gift bag from behind my seat and carefully open my door, feeling the rush of cold air as I step out into the night. I immediately get down into a crouch, taking long, swift steps as I slink sideways across the lawn, heading for the bushes. Suddenly, I bright light is shining in my eyes, illuminating the yard and everything in it- including me!

It’s a motion light! Curses!! Suddenly my swift slink turns into an all-out sprint as I fling the package onto the front porch while simultaneously ringing the doorbell. On the way off the porch I skip the steps altogether, taking a flying leap off the landing onto the walkway below and immediately breaking into an all-out run as soon as I hit the ground. The bushes!! The bushes! Must make it to the bushes!

Just before I reach the safety of the boxwood hedge I catch a glimpse of my minivan out of the corner of my eye. I can just barely make out my six-year-old son with his wide-eyed face pressed up against the glass, watching my manic sprint with what I believe to be surprised awe. I manage a quick smile and a wave before throwing myself to the ground out of sight.

My breathing is heavy as I wait, my heart pounding in my ears…I really need to get in better shape for this…I can hear voices inside, gradually growing louder as they reach the front door, and becoming clear as the door opens wide.

“Oooh!! I think I got something from my Secret Santa!!” she says. “Thank you, whoever you are!” she calls out into the night.

A smile spreads across my face as I hear the door close and the voices recede once more into the house. I peek around the bush just to make sure the coast is clear, and then I walk quietly but quickly back to my car.

As I slide into the driver’s seat, my son yells, “Mom, I’ve never seen you run that fast before!! That was AWESOME!!!”

I just laugh and say, “Yeah. Yeah, it was.”

And so it is every year in our ward. The little holiday tradition that started with a few friends has now grown to an annual event that involves nearly half the Relief Society. Young mothers, single women, even grandmothers have found themselves suddenly acting like they are twelve again, sneaking around leaving small gifts and planning acts of service for women they often didn’t even know before their name showed up in their e-mail inbox.

Every year these six weeks of secret service culminate in a holiday party where each participant learns the identity of their Secret Santa, and sisters laugh and cry and hug as seemingly silly tokens of affection take on a greater meaning when the givers learn how much a particular boost was needed that day, and when recipients learn how much the giver went through to share an act of love.

For those six weeks every year, we are all sisters in the gospel, warm in spirit and young at heart. We “delight in service and good works”, and we find ourselves loving women we barely know because we are serving them. We expand our capacity to love and we discover our ability to run- really, really fast!

Spiritual Sundays: Do the Impossible (or Part II of My Thoughts are not Your Thoughts)

This is me approaching the finish line at the 10k. My shirt says, "You don't have to go fast, you just have to go."

Sorry about the hiatus in Spiritual Sundays posts- I have been trying to get over bronchitis and last Sunday I was only semi-conscious most of the day...Anyway, I promised a Part II to my last Spiritual Sundays post, My Thoughts are not Your Thoughts, and I am excited to share that with you today!

In that last post I mentioned another story that I thought fit with my topic. This story was told by a sweet and very funny woman, Laurel Christensen, who confessed that she had been struggling with her weight. She ended up going to a "Biggest Loser"-type camp, and the experience was really tough for her. She told about a particular experience she had one day on the treadmill. Her coach was having her and her group set their treadmills for the highest speed they could possibly go for two minutes, then she gave them a 1 minute recovery. Then they had to go hard again for another minute and a half, then rest for less time than before, and so on. She started running her hardest and then she started to falter. She said that she didn't just think she couldn't complete the two minutes- she KNEW it, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Her coach saw her difficulty and she "got all Gillian" on her and said, "Don't you dare be the one thing standing in your way." Laurel recalled that she was pretty sure that was something inspirational and she'd appreciate it later, but it wasn't helping her a bit in that moment! She still knew she couldn't do it, but she kept on. Before she knew it, her coach said, "30 seconds." Laurel thought, Okay fine, but I'm not going to make it 30 seconds. Her coach said, "15 seconds." Laurel thought, 15 seconds? How am I still alive? And then before she knew it her coach was counting down, "3, 2, 1, and stop."

Laurel was shocked. She hadn't just thought she couldn't do it- she had KNOWN she couldn't. So how on earth did she finish? The realization that she could do something she had been thoroughly convinced she could not do was astounding to her. She began to wonder, What else have I been wrong about all these years? How many things have I told myself I could not do?

Laurel then went on to explain that we all spend a lifetime putting limits on ourselves that are just WRONG! I really appreciated her story because I have taken my own journey with running that has completely shattered some lifelong limits I've had. Even as a kid I struggled with the required mile run in school. I KNEW that when I got older it would just be harder. If I couldn't do it as a kid, then how could I possibly do it as an adult? But then one day I got a tiny inkling of a thought in my head- I want to run a 10k. It was a completely ridiculous idea, and I knew it was entirely unattainable, but I thought hey, if I shoot for the moon then maybe I'll land among the stars, right? If nothing else I'll get some good exercise out of it.

Well, long story short, I started training and soon I was able to run for more than a minute without stopping- huge accomplishment. Then I was able to do a mile! Then I could run my neighborhood- without stopping!- 2.2 miles. After that it seemed whatever farther distance I aimed for, I reached. 3 miles? Check. 3.5? Sure. 4? Heck, it's just 1 more than 3. And then I ran the 10k (6.2 miles)- the whole way, without walking. It was slow, but I did it.

It's amazing to me how pushing yourself to do something that you really don't think you can do and reaching your "impossible" goal can just fling open doors in your life. Without that 10k, I don't know that I would have started my etsy shop. I probably wouldn't have finished and submitted my book to a publisher. I was able to blow the top off my tightly-set limits for myself and realize that I am a child of God. He is limitless. He has given me talents and abilities not so that I can tuck them away for a day when they might come in handy, but so that I can magnify them and begin to scrape the surface of His purpose for me.

One of my favorite quotations is by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

God has created us for greater things than we can imagine for ourselves. If we allow our thoughts to rule our lives rather than His thoughts, then we can never reach our true divine potential.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

What is our divine potential? What are His thoughts for us? One more quotation that I LOVE:

“The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were 'gods' and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him … He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.” – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity Ch. 31

"With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." - Mark 10:27

So what is the impossible thing you know you cannot do? Isn't it about time you did it? ;-)

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www. mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: My Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts

The view from Carter Mountain Orchard in Charlottesville, Virginia. Amazing how the view from above can give you such a larger picture than what you can see from below...

I had the INCREDIBLE opportunity yesterday to attend an amazing event in downtown Richmond called Time Out For Women. It was an all-day conference for LDS women (and any other women who wanted to be uplifted and inspired!) and we heard some wonderfully funny, motivational, and spiritual presenters along with beautiful music as well. This will probably be the first of a few Spiritual Sundays posts that will be based on the things I learned there, because truthfully, it was so hard to choose just ONE topic!

So for today's post I drew from a few different things I heard at the conference. The first was a story told by a member of the "boy band" Jericho Road. He told the story of the birth of his first child. Prior to the baby's birth, doctors discovered the child had holes in his heart. The family prayed that the holes would close so that the child might be healthy. The singer described the scene surrounding the delivery as one straight out of an ER drama, with everyone rushing around. When the baby was finally born, it was discovered that the baby had an overflow of blood inside one chamber of his heart, and that the holes were what were actually saving his life- without them his heart would have stopped. The singer reflected on the fact that the very thing they were praying for God to remove was the very thing that God, in His ultimate wisdom, was using to save the child's life.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

So many times in our lives we might pray for that which we believe to be good, only to discover that our own view is so limited that there might actually be something greater in store for us.

Another speaker, Brad Wilcox, told a very funny, yet very moving story about how he had to do a lot of soul searching while on his mission. He told of the day he felt he had lost his testimony, and how that night he knelt down on his bed and prayed to the Lord that He might show him a sign. He figured Joseph Smith got to have a vision, why couldn't he? Suddenly his room filled with light- and then the car passed. Joseph Smith got God and angels and he got headlights. Go figure.

Well, he was disappointed, but he was determined to discover what the truth really was. Suddenly, his biggest problem was not trying to stay awake during his study time- it was finding enough study time. He read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine & Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price. He prayed. He read Jesus the Christ, the Miracle of Forgiveness, and other books by prophets and apostles. He prayed some more. Finally, he had a moment when his mission president asked him after an interview if he had any questions. He paused, then said, "President, is there a God?" He said, "Yes." He asked, "Does He know who I am?" The mission president replied, "Yes." "Does He really love me?" "Yes."

Those simple responses suddenly filled Brother Wilcox with the Spirit and he knew it was true. In his presentation, he reflected on his journey. He pointed out that if God had answered his prayer and showed him a sign that night in his room, would he have done all of that studying, pondering, and praying? The Lord knew what he needed, and that night in his room the Lord knew that he needed to not receive an answer. The Lord knew it was a journey Brother Wilcox had to take on his own, to gain more knowledge before he could have that testimony he was so desperately seeking. Once he had completed the journey he was meant to take, the Lord answered His prayer in a sweet, simple, unmistakable way.

Consider this Part I of this post...I realized as I was writing that there was another GREAT presentation from Time Out that will fit right in with this one, but there's too much to write to fit it into this post.

For now, think about that scripture, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts...", and think about how you might seek to better trust in God, and know that He has a better plan for you. More on that next week.... ;-)

To find out more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

...and I'm a Mormon.

My family and me at the LDS Temple just outside Washington, D.C.

With Mitt Romney on the ballot, there have been quite a few news stories coming out lately about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka, the "Mormon Church." If you've been following my blog for awhile now, you've probably figured out that yes, I'm a Mormon! I decided to take today's Spiritual Sundays post and tell you a little bit about my background in this religion and what it means to me.

Both of my parents are converts to the church. They converted before I was born, so I have grown up in the church. Even with that upbringing, however, my parents have always encouraged me to gain my own faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, quite simply, I don't believe just because they do, and I don't just go to church because I'm used to it. I have a real strong faith that it's the true church.

Some say that our church is a cult. By the popular definition of the word cult, that is untrue. However, if you look at the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of "cult", you could certainly categorize Mormonism under that definition:

1. formal religious veneration

2. a system of religious beliefs and ritual; also its body of adherents

3. a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious; also its body of adherents

4. a great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work

I clarify this definition only to point out that virtually any world religion could be labeled a cult, and that Mormonism is really not that different.

So why do people think we're so different? Here are a few questions you might have and some explanations straight from a Mormon!

Q: The "Mormon" label- are Mormons Christians?

A: YES! We are Christians. "Mormons" is really just a nickname derived from a book of holy scripture that is unique to our church, The Book of Mormon.

Q: What's the Book of Mormon?

A: The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. It contains the records of the people living on the American continent a few hundred years before and after Christ's earthly ministry. It also contains a beautiful account of His visit to the people on the American continent after His resurrection.

Q: What about the bible?

A: We believe in the Bible, too!! Old Testament and New Testament, absolutely. We prefer to utilize the King James Version.

Q: So you do believe in Jesus Christ?

A: YES, YES, YES! I cannot emphasize this enough. The name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe that He is our Savior and Redeemer, and that it is only through Him that we can be saved. We believe in His atonement and we honor it and renew our covenants to be faithful to Him each Sunday when we partake of the holy sacrament.

Q: No drinking, no smoking, no coffee, no tea...what's with that?

A: We're not trying to be little goody-two-shoes (okay, well, I guess we are) but we follow a code called The Word of Wisdom. This "health code" identifies certain substances that are more addictive and therefore potentially harmful to our bodies. Smoking is a pretty obvious one, and alcohol is addictive enough that it's just not a good idea to even start. Coffee and tea contain high levels of caffeine that are mood-altering and addictive as well.

Q: I heard you have a prophet. Does he think he's like Moses or something?

A: Well, in the sense that he is God's mouthpiece on earth, then yes, he is like Moses. He does not, however, have a long beard and walk around in robes with a big staff. His name is Thomas S. Monson, he wears a suit, is usually smiling (he has a great sense of humor!) and he absolutely exudes love. We believe that God continues to lead and guide his people through modern-day revelation. We don't worship the prophet, we know he is a man, but we listen to what he says, usually gentle reminders that God loves us and that we can be better people.

What's interesting about the fact that we have a prophet on the earth today is that he leads the church much like prophets did in biblical times. We also have 12 apostles, just like then. Our church is organized just as it was by Christ's direction long ago.

If you would like to see and hear the prophet, you can check out his closing talk from our church's semiannual conference a few weeks ago. There's a place in the sidebar that says, "watch" and you can see the video.

Q: What's with all the secret temple stuff?

A: We prefer to refer to the things that happen inside the temple as being "sacred" rather than "secret." What's the difference? Well, because they are sacred they require a certain mindset. If we were to allow people to come in from off the street and watch temple ceremonies, they would most likely be confused and the ceremony would have a very different feeling to it. Before one is allowed to attend the temple for such ceremonies, one must be a baptized member of the church. That's not because it's an exclusive club, it's because when you are baptized you make certain covenants with God, and you promise yourself to His service. Even after you are baptized, you must wait at least a year before entering the temple (and you must be at least 18 years old for most of the ceremonies) and you must have an interview with your bishop (like a pastor) to determine your worthiness to enter the temple. He makes sure that you have been keeping your baptismal covenants and that your heart is dedicated to the Lord. Then, when you enter the temple, you are able to fully understand the ceremonies, and you are surrounded by others with a similar dedication to God. Within that environment, the Spirit of the Lord can be felt and wonderful truths can be learned.

Q: Okay, but what kind of ceremonies?

A: Because they are sacred, I will not go into detail. But let me say that there are no blood sacrifices, no weird chanting or anything like that. The two primary ordinances that take place in the temple are the sealing (marriage) ceremony and the endowment ceremony. They are quiet, teaching experiences as you learn more about who you are, where you came from, and what is in store for you in this life and the life to come. You make special promises to God to keep His commandments, and I always leave the temple feeling uplifted, like I have just experienced a bit of heaven on earth. I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit dwells in temples.

Q: So why do you believe it?

A: For me, I believe that God's affirmation of truth is a feeling of pure joy. Joy that is not tied to any earthly desire. The more I learn about this religion (because even now I am still learning!) the more joy I discover. I have the answers to life's questions- Who am I? Where am I going? Why am I here? And I feel the love of God in my life every day. The more I follow the teachings of this gospel, the happier I am.

I love that I don't need a cup of coffee to wake me up in the morning. I love that I never had to worry about STDs or teen pregnancy because I vowed to save myself for my husband. I love that I was able to marry a man who had promised the same thing, and that we both know we're in it for forever, not just till death we do part. I love that my husband celebrates my role as his wife and as a mother to our children, because our church teaches him what a special calling that is. I love that I respect him and honor him as my husband because this religion teaches me what a special duty he has to me and our family. I love that I have a clear moral path that I can teach to my children, about how to live and love as the Savior did. I love that I know that when I keep the promises I made at baptism and in the temple that God will keep His promises to me, and that I can someday live with Him and my family together forever. I know that this life is about much more than my time on earth- that I existed before I came here and I will exist after I die. I am a spiritual daughter of God.

Simply put, I love that I have The Truth. Not a truth, not some truth, but The Truth, all of it, simple and perfect. I can question till I'm blue in the face but there's always an answer that brings me joy.

I hope that this post has helped to answer some questions you might have. If you have any more questions or anything you might be curious about, PLEASE leave a comment or e-mail me if it's something you don't want to share with other readers. I love to answer questions and share my joy! :-)

For more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

Linking up to:

Spiritual Sundays: A Day to Remember

This is the candlelight vigil held on the evening of September 12, 2001 at Mary Washington College (now the University of Mary Washington) in Fredericksburg Virginia. I was there.

On this day of remembrance I felt I would be remiss if I did not write a special post in commemoration. I have struggled to know what I could write today that has not already been written, what words of wisdom I might share that have not already been spoken, what comfort I might offer that has not already been given. But I believe in situations like this, originality is not the goal; often, God works through repetition to teach us those things we just can't seem to learn on our own.

I was just watching a recorded episode of Miracle Detectives in which the "detectives" were exploring various stories of miracles from 9/11. While one detective believed in miracles, the other was very skeptical. She said that she didn't see God at all in the events that happened that day- all she saw was pain and suffering. It was her opinion that to claim that some survived because of God's plan would be to also say that so many others died according to God's plan. What kind of God would make a terrible plan like that?

I started thinking about how sometimes, as God's children, we want to scream, "It's NOT FAIR!!!!" Then I thought of the many times I have heard my own children say those same three words, and how I can seem like such an unfair and unloving parent to them.

I let my 7-year-old son ride his bike down to his friend's house, but I make my toddler stay in the driveway. It's NOT FAIR!! But if I let my toddler run down the road alone, she could be so seriously hurt.

I give the yummy medicine to my 5-year-old and my 7-year-old is told it's not for him. It's NOT FAIR!! But if I were to give him medicine he doesn't need, it could make him very sick.

I let my 7-year-old use the big scissors to cut off a tag, and tell my 5-year-old that she must wait for me to cut off her tag for her. It's NOT FAIR!! But if I were to let her use the big scissors, her uncoordinated movements might cause a serious injury.

Do any of these situations demonstrate that I love one child more than another? In my adult wisdom, I clearly see that they do not. In fact, it demonstrates just how much I love each of my children, and how mindful I am of their individual well-being. But to my children, I am being grossly unfair. They cannot see what I see. I see them in all their abilities, both advanced and still growing. I see the danger in the world around them, and I know what they can handle and what they cannot. I see the unseen: pitfalls and consequences known only through my personal knowledge acquired through years of experience. I see the bigger picture.

I once read a quotation that I believe was by G. K. Chesterton (I tried to find it but I couldn't) that said something to the effect of, "We know as much about God as the pancake we're making for breakfast knows about us." I think we could extend that to say that we also probably know just about the same amount about the universe that God created for us. I truly believe that our Heavenly Father is a loving father, and while we may see so many things in life as being awful and unfair, they are such a small part of the greater whole, and we too such a small part of that whole, that we often can't possibly hope to see the purpose behind them.

After I have to tell my children no, sometimes I am able to explain the reasoning behind my actions. Other times, especially when they're very young and I know they just won't understand, the best I can hope to do is to comfort them with a hug and guide them to another activity that might help them feel happy again. Fortunately, our Heavenly Father does the same for us. He gives us explanations when He can, though not always right away. He is more than generous with offering comfort, when we turn to Him. He guides us toward future happiness and peace, easing the pains that come along with growth and trial.

For me, it is the feeling of His love as we work through the grief that helps me to know that He is there, and that He loves me. It is the lessons that I learn from the heartbreak that help me to understand that what, at the time, seems like an all-consuming flame is really just the refiner's fire, making me stronger and better than I ever could have been without it.

Please know that it is not my intention to make light of the events of September 11th, or to downplay the grief and pain that so many suffer. That day was a nightmare, no doubt, for many, and they are entitled to mourn. Their suffering is real. We don't know why God chose to take so many home to Him that day, and why others were left. But as we turn to Him, He can not only salve the raw wounds, but He can help us to see the bigger picture. I truly believe that He loves each and every one of us, and that He wants us to be our best selves. He sees the divine within each of us and He has a purpose for us that is far greater than anything we could ever dream for ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes that means enduring things that seem far greater than anything we could ever imagine enduring.

I'll leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs by Michael McLean:

All I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of, everything I hoped, and all the things I prayed for couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given: I've been given what I need.

Even when I didn't understand, when I thought you had no heart, thank you for rejecting my demands and always giving me the better part.

All I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of, everything I hoped, and all the things I prayed for couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given: I've been given what I need.

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: Beyond Decluttering: Living More Simply

This is a topic that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. As I'm sure you probably gathered from the post about my dream home, I am a minimalist wannabe. Meaning, my dream is to live in a space that is cleared of clutter, and has only my most special, most beautiful, and most useful objects in it. Because if you actually stop to think about it, how much of your day is consumed by your stuff? It may not seem that way, but I spend so much time getting after the kids to pick up their toys, doing the dishes, rebooting and folding the laundry, general cleaning and picking up of stuff- granted, much of that is a necessity of day-to-day living, but what if we just had less?

I always get a little bit like this in the summer because while we're on vacation for a week we get to experience life with less. Having a family of 5, I only bring clothes for about 4 days, and we just wash while we're vacationing. I do a small load every couple of days and that's about it. We bring the essentials, plus a small box of toys for the kids, and we make do with the sparse pots and pans that furnish our condo. When I tell the kids to pick up their toys, it takes less than a minute. When I "straighten up" it takes a minute or two. When I open the cupboard under the kitchen sink I see trash bags, dishwashing soap, cleaning spray, and paper towels.

Honestly, how much more than that do I really need?

Of course, in a rented condo you don't have to wash your own sheets (that would take a little additional laundry time) or worry about home maintenance or entertaining or holidays, but even all that would require maybe one additional closet's worth of stuff. It was just nice to be able to have free time- really free time- that I could just be, and know that I could read a book, play with the kids, or do whatever I wanted. That is the blessing of living more simply.

Another aspect of this dream of mine is to get back to being human. In the scriptures we are taught that "the natural man is an enemy to God", but I think that we have gotten so far away from the "natural man" what with technology and supermarkets and the internet- we're more in the phase of the "unnatural man" at this point (he's an enemy to God too, by the way).

This was another train of thought that got fueled while on vacation when I took a class called, "Healing Plants and Wildflowers." I was truly astonished at the incredible healing properties of the stuff that usually gets taken out by a weed whacker by the side of the road! Apparently the abundant dandelion crop in my backyard could really do me a lot of good. Our teacher quoted someone who said, "Healing herbs help the body to remember what it was like to be well." I LOVED that! As she was telling us about the various abilities of the different plants, I was just struck by how much God loves us, that He gave us these incredibly efficient and wonderful gifts, just sprouting up out of the ground all over the place. But we're so busy watching tv ads for the next great medicine that can heal us that we don't bother to learn about the ones God put right in our backyards.

This back-to-nature kick of mine got even more reinforced with the apple fest that's been going on around our house. I couldn't believe that for almost 10 years I've had that tree in the backyard and this is the first time I've bothered to do anything with it. And the sheer pleasure from the foods I was able to make with those apples was so satisfying, especially knowing that they came from a tree in my backyard. They weren't marketed to me, weren't packaged- they grew as a result of the hand of God, they were joyfully picked by the sweet little helping hands of my children and purposefully (if not joyfully) prepared into delicious foods by my own two hands. That's about as pure and simple as it gets.

I apologize if this post is kind of rambling; I just hope that you kind of get the general idea of my mindset lately. Less people junk. More God beauty and simplicity. More time spent in worthwhile pursuits. More joy in the gifts of the Lord- the bounty of nature, quiet meditation, my wonderful family. More education about being a real human- learning to live off the land and rely on only God and myself, not Wal-mart. It's all a process, but I'm hoping to get there, a little bit at a time.

If you'd like to get into this mindset with me, be sure to check out The Small Notebook, a blog by a true minimalist who shares her beautiful thoughts on living simply, especially this post on organizing (ha!) and this post on paring down. I am also currently reading a very thought-provoking book called, Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping and am about to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.). All in all, I'm thinking more about what I allow into my home and what I truly value. I am also trying to be more conscious and more grateful for what my Heavenly Father has given me (you know, the stuff with no price tag). :-)

Spiritual Sundays: It's 5pm. Do You Know Where Your Purpose Is?

I was recently watching the sad ending of the Oprah Winfrey Show (oh, how I love her!) and on her final episode she shared many of the things she's learned on her journey so far. I'd heard most of it already from her "Master Class" show on OWN, but it was good to hear it again.

One of the things that she seemed to keep going back to is how important it is to listen to your inner voice and use that as your guide to your true purpose in life. For me, I call that voice the Holy Ghost, or the Spirit. He's my connection to my Heavenly Father, and he's my little inner thermometer that tells me if I'm getting warmer (closer to God) or colder (farther away). The more I listen and act on my impressions, the closer I get to God and His true purpose for me in my life.

I'm not sure if Oprah mentioned this or if it's just something that came to me as she was talking, but I realized that at every moment of every day I am either doing something that gets me closer to a better me or farther away. Like most people (I think!) I often find myself spending time doing things and then asking myself, "What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Should I be doing this? Should I be doing something else?" The constant struggle can be overwhelming and confusing.

However, I've found that if I just pause in whatever I'm doing and ask, "Is this where I'm supposed to be? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Is this bringing me closer to my purpose in life?" I begin to feel those subtle promptings from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, like if I'm lounging in front of the tv or surfing random websites on the net, the answer is, "This isn't helping anyone and it's not making you a better person. Time to refocus." Sometimes it's, "You can do this for a moment just to take a little break, but you know what you should really be doing." And the best feeling is when it's, "You're doing just fine. Right on track. Keep it up!"

Right now as I'm writing this I'm getting a combination of the second two. I know that sharing these thoughts and feelings through my writing is a big part of my life's purpose right now, but at the same time I know that my children are at a special time in their lives and any time I'm at the computer is time away from them. I know how much they cherish and enjoy my presence in their lives so I know I need to put them first.

The beauty of asking that simple question is that when you're not on track you can get back on track, and you don't feel like you're confused about the decision. And what I really love is that it's helped me to focus and be more present when I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. When I'm thumbing through a magazine and my kids are in the other room watching a movie, I can ask myself, "Is this bringing me closer to my purpose in life?" and it's pretty obvious that I need to put the magazine down and call my kids in to read stories with me on the couch. As I snuggle up to them and we read books, I will have complete peace and satisfaction in my heart that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be and doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing at that time.

Really, that's where the true joy in life lies. It's when you know for sure that you are exactly where you're supposed to be and doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

So I'll leave you with this simple challenge: this week, as you go about your daily life-cleaning, emptying the dishwasher, helping kids with homework, running errands- ask yourself, "Is this where I'm supposed to be? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" You'll know the answer. Trust me. You'll know.

To find out more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org. :-)

Spiritual Sundays: Staying with the Light

I had the fun opportunity on Friday night to go camping with my family and members of our church. We enjoyed a nice potluck dinner and we built a campfire and socialized into the night. As the night went on I realized something- I needed to use the bathroom! There was a port-a-potty nearby, and I knew of its general location, but it was so dark out that I couldn't tell exactly where it was located. I took my lantern and headed off through the woods into the night.

It was very difficult to tell, with the short beam of light provided by my lantern, exactly which way to go. After walking in the right general direction, eventually my lantern caught the blue plastic exterior of the outhouse in its glow, and I could then correct my course to the way I needed to go. Those first few moments, however, were very disconcerting as I made my way into the darkness without really knowing where I was going.

When I was finished, I came out and I could see the campfire in the distance and the many lanterns of my friends gathered around it. I used my lantern to light the path of my feet, but I knew exactly where I was headed, and the light of the campfire illuminated any large obstacles, such as trees, that blocked my path. After my trip out to the restroom, it was such a difference walking toward something I could clearly see, and to know that there was safety there in the gathering of lights. I didn't feel anxious or lost- I knew exactly where I was going and even though my path wasn't entirely illuminated, it was still clear.

I couldn't help but compare this to our spiritual selves. In the book of John, the Savior invoked this beautiful prayer upon his apostles:

“And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.

“I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

“I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.” (John 17:11, 14–15.)

Christ prayed that His believers "may be one" and that the Lord "shouldest keep [us] from the evil." I believe that the Lord is asking us to, quite simply, stick together. There is darkness all around us, and if we venture off on our own, like I did, and leave the light of the other followers of Christ, we put ourselves in a place of anxiety, confusion, and possibly danger.

This is not to say that we shouldn't associate with those of different faiths, or that we should avoid missionary opportunities. I think we should reach out as much as possible, but we should always be sure to keep the light of others close by us.

D&C 87:8 reads, "Stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come." Sharon G. Larsen said of this scripture,

"Standing in holy places is all about being in good company, whether you are alone or with others. It’s being where the Holy Ghost is our companion—alone or in a crowd. When we determine within ourselves that we will control our thoughts and our actions and be the best we can possibly be, the best of life will come to us."

The key to "staying with the light", as I titled this post, is to always keep the Holy Ghost as our companion, and to be with others who will do the same. As soon as you find yourself in a certain place or with certain people that are making it difficult to keep the good feelings of the Holy Spirit, you have strayed from the warmth and safety of the light, and it's time to turn around and look for the campfire again.

For me, my campfire is my home, my family, my church congregation, and my friends in the gospel who are wonderful examples to me. I know that when I nurture these relationships that I am building up my campfire to be a beacon to me and to others who might be wandering in the dark.

I encourage you to not rely solely on the light of your own lantern, but to find others and build up your own campfire of safety. There is strength and safety in numbers, along with the peace and joy of having a home in the gospel. Come out of the dark and into the light!

To find out more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: He Lives!

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org. :-)

Spiritual Sundays: The Garden

Last night I had the pleasure and privilege of attending a performance of Michael McLean and Bryce Nuebert's "The Garden" put on by members of the Richmond Virginia Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Deseret Book has this blurb about the allegorical oratorio:

"'We've always felt that the single most important work any creative person could do is to create something that would help others come closer to the Savior and have a greater understanding of and appreciation for the atonement,' says Michael. 'But oftentimes the very nature of the subject is a bit intimidating for a composer, songwriter, musician or artist.' The creative group agreed that the best way to accomplish the goal was to seek the Lord's help, and to follow his example of using allegories."

The musical production is a series of songs sung by various characters who are actually parts of the Garden of Gethsemane. Each one is representative of someone or something in our own mortal lives, and each one is affected by the power of the Atonement of Christ, which takes place in the garden. The production I attended used simple costumes and a single set, along with symbolic art and basic props to convey the essence of each character. The main focus was on the music and its lyrics, which were moving and beautiful. One of the reasons I was in attendance was because my brother played the part of Satan, aka, "The Landlord." Truly, one of the only times I could get away with saying, "My brother is Satan." Heh, heh. His performance was marvelous!!

What I love about allegories and parables is that quite often I find that I learn more in the act of interpreting than I do in the interpretation itself. If someone were to simply tell me what each symbol represents then I would not develop the depth of understanding that I do when I discover the meaning on my own. I had many opportunities to interpret last night, especially since I took my oldest two children, ages 6 1/2 and 5 with me to the show. I had to explain what an allegory was, and teach them how to understand the symbols and how to be like a detective to use the symbols like clues to put the real meaning of the story together.

While I would love to give a detailed song-by-song description of the performance, it would most likely be tedious for both of us, so instead I wish to focus on 4 of the main characters in the show: the Seedling, the Ram, the Barren Tree, and the Millstone. Each of these characters represent us, children of Heavenly Father, and the struggles that we face in mortal life.

The Seedling is the first to sing of her plight- she is "trapped beneath the earth and unable to grow." She doesn't understand why those around her seem to have no problem reach up toward the light- but she is stuck, unable to be what she could be.

Next is the Ram. The Ram is caught in a thorny tangle, unable to get free. He knows he should have listened to his master's voice and stayed close to his side, but now because of his disobedience he is fully ensnared and completely miserable.

The Barren Tree mourns her lack of fruit. She tries and yet is unsuccessful at producing anything of beauty from her barren branches. She aches for a reason why.

The final character is the Millstone. The Millstone sees himself as nothing but a burden- he spreads destruction, crushing everything he comes in contact with, and believes that there is no beauty within him that anyone could possibly love. He feels empty.

As each one of these characters sang, my heart ached for them. I know each of these feelings from various times in my own life, and that is why these characters were so effective in this allegory- because they are the faces of each of us. Have you ever felt trapped, stuck, unable to progress without knowing why, like the Seedling? Have you ever ached with a life full of regrets, knowing your suffering is your own doing, and finding yourself saying, "If only", like the Ram? Have you ever felt like you're spinning your wheels, doing everything right, and yet you see no results from your labors, like the Barren Tree? Have you ever felt like you were worthless, messing up everything you attempt and feeling like you're simply a waste of space, like the Millstone?

I also found it interesting that all but one of the characters' frustrations stemmed from them knowing what they could be, and feeling trapped and unable to achieve their full potential. Only the Millstone didn't seem to understand that he had any kind of value.

Sadly, when we feel this way, there are those who rejoice- in this allegory, it is the Snake and the Landlord. You know that saying, "misery loves company"? This is where that fits in. While the gentle Gardener attempts to prepare the Garden for spring planting, the Landlord storms in, slyly (and sarcastically) asking forgiveness for the intrusion, but claiming the Garden, and everything in it, to be his. He further asserts that the Gardener's efforts are useless and futile, that nothing could ever grow there. And that's the way he likes it. So get out.

To be perfectly honest, this song gave me chills. The Landlord sings,

Don't challenge me, I pray you.

I have the power to slay you!

But please, don't make me hate you-

Just be gone, and all's forgotten.

It's best that you just quietly disappear...

How many times does that voice in our head tell us to just give up? To just, "quietly disappear" when faced with doing the hard thing? Satan tells us it's okay, no one will know.

Just try to clear the weeds.

Try planting newer seeds.

And you'll see thistles breed,

Returning twice as strong each hour.

That voice tells you that it doesn't matter what you do- nothing can change what you are. You're wasting your time even trying. It's a voice in our heads that is all-too-familiar: the voice of the adversary. He tells us our efforts are pointless- even if we know our full potential, we could never reach it because we'll just keep messing up. That's what got us into this mess in the first place, right? We're just not strong enough. And for those who don't believe they have potential to begin with, like the Millstone, Satan's job is even easier. He tells us it's best for us to just "quietly disappear."

Fortunately, the Gardener gives the Garden, and all in it, some very good news. He tells them that there is one who can save them, a Man With Many Names. The Man comes, suffers agony, all the while being mocked by the Landlord who tauntingly asks Him if He's doing this for His Father, then why has His Father left Him alone? He tells Him to give up, that's it's too hard and too painful, that there's nothing worth saving in that Garden anyway. Meanwhile, the elements of the Garden watch His struggle with wonder and awe.

The Man's sacrifice has saved the Garden. The Seedling reaches up through the earth to bask in the sunlight; the Ram's thorns have been taken away and he is free; the Barren Tree bears beautiful fruit on her lovely branches; the Millstone is sparkling with a beauty he didn't know he had.

The Savior's atonement has set them all free from their misery, and the Landlord no longer has power over them, for they have been redeemed in Christ. The Garden is a place of peace and beauty once more.

What I love about this allegory is the fact that it shows us that sin is not just about breaking the commandments and that the Atonement really does heal all wounds. Sometimes our most difficult struggles are with our own thoughts about ourselves and our own self-worth. We see what we could be, but we are convinced that we could never achieve it, so we don't even try. We feel like we're trying but not getting anywhere. Or we feel like we've messed up so many times we're just not worth the effort anymore. It is in those deep depths of despair that the Atonement has so much power. It has the power to set us free from the chains of our own "stinkin' thinkin'" (as Flylady calls it!).

Jesus Christ loves us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows that Satan will try to put a fun house mirror in front of our faces to distort what we see. If only we look to Him, he will show us our true selves, and when we accept Him into our lives He will set us free.

A good friend of mine gave me a special Christmas gift one year. It was a mirror, and on the mirror was a small picture of Jesus Christ with the words, "The greatest gift I can give you is to see yourself through my eyes."

Today, spend some time with the Man who knows you best. The Man who gave everything for you in the Garden. Ask to see yourself through His eyes, because to Him you are marvelous, beautiful, wonderful, and above all, so worth it.

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

LDS Writer Blogfest: Guided by the Holy Spirit

Image from searchpictures.net

Remember my "AAAYYY-MEN!" from my post a few weeks ago? Well I had a lot of those "AAAYYY-MEN!" moments the first weekend in April when I had the opportunity to virtually attend the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which I am a member. To celebrate the magnificent messages and the great joy they brought to all who were able to attend, the online LDS blogger community has decided to participate in an LDS Writer Blogfest, in which each blogger will write about a specific talk they heard that was meaningful to them (see full link list at the end of this post).

It was difficult for me to choose; there were so many talks that simply had me mesmerized. There were so many things that I needed to hear, that really touched my heart and renewed my motivation to be better.

However, one talk stood out in my mind: Boyd K. Packer's talk entitled, "Guided by the Holy Spirit." This talk was rich with the simple truths of what it means to be a Latter-day Saint, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. He spoke plainly and simply, not only reminding those who are members of this church who we are and what we stand for, but spelling it out for others who may be on the outside of our church peering in, wondering what those crazy Mormons are up to!

While rereading President Packer's (he is the current president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) talk, I went through and took notes on it, creating a basic outline. When I was finished, I decided that his talk reminded me of a train.

President Packer began by speaking of the holy scriptures, and how because of the Book of Mormon, many people call the LDS church the "Mormon church". He gently issued a correction, reminding members that we are not "Mormons", but rather members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the entire point of the name of our church is to profess the name of Jesus Christ, for He is our leader and exemplar. The church is our train, and Jesus Christ is the acting force pulling us along- He is the engine.

The main coupling from the engine to the cars was President Packer's next subject: the priesthood authority of Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not a new religion- it is the exact same church that was created by Jesus Christ when He was on the earth over 2000 years ago. His authority was passed on to His apostles, among them Peter, James, and John, and those same apostles conferred the priesthood to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery in 1829. That priesthood has been conferred (through the laying on of hands) to each worthy priesthood holder ever since. My own husband, brother, and father can each trace their "priesthood line" back to Joseph Smith, and thus back to the ancient apostles and Jesus Christ. It is remarkable, and it is real and true. The church could not be run any other way than by the direct authority from Jesus Christ.

Along with this authority came another essential tool for the true church: the gift of the Holy Ghost. It is this gift that has allowed for modern revelation. If God's church is to be on the earth today, it needs to have a way to receive divine revelation from God himself. The Holy Ghost is that conduit through which revelation is received: it is the coupling that holds all the train cars together. It is the only way that an unpaid ministry would be possible- all of our leaders, both international and local, rely on that same power of the Holy Ghost, from the prophet of our church down to the children's Sunday School teacher (that's me!).

President Packer went on to discuss in simple detail the various beliefs that guide a Latter-day Saint's life, each based on principles born of modern revelation through the Holy Ghost. These are the cars on our gospel train:

- Word of Wisdom- This is a health code that dictates that Latter-day Saints abstain from coffee, tea, tobacco, alcohol, or any other potentially addictive or harmful substance.

- Law of Chastity- This law dictates that Latter-day Saints abstain from sexual relations before they are married, and that the only sexual relations that are appropriate in the eyes of the Lord are those that are between husband and wife, legally and lawfully wedded.

- Repentance- Those who have sinned are granted the gift of repentance, if they choose to accept it, through the supreme sacrifice and Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

- Mortal Life- The purpose of our mortal life is to be tempted and tested, and thus be made stronger and worthy for eventual exaltation in the kingdom of God.

- Plan of Happiness- Ultimately, our happiness will be complete when we can be with our families in the presence of the Lord. To achieve that end, we must recognize the roles of the husband and wife within the home, their equal partnership and their duty to teach their children and raise them up in righteousness.

- Love and Forgiveness- People will offend us- it's a fact! But if we are to be happy, we must forgive, and "let it go", as President Packer said in his talk. Grudges do not help, they only hurt.

- In the World, Not of It- As Latter-day Saints, we are 14 million strong around the world, but we are still ordinary people. We try to rise above while still lifting up those around us. We are in the world, but we are not of the world. We believe in:

- Honesty

- Cleanliness in appearance, thought, and speech

- Positive & Happy Attitudes

- Mourning With Those Who Mourn

- Comforting Those Who Stand In Need of Comfort

President Packer finished this description of the LDS Church by stating simply,

"If someone is looking for a church that requires very little, this is not the one. It is not easy to be a Latter-day Saint, but in the long run it is the only true course."

Yes, as a member of this church I can attest to this statement. As a teenager, I didn't do many of the things that I saw those around me doing. I often faced ridicule. As a mother and homemaker, I struggle on a daily basis to know what the Lord would have me do, and to often sacrifice my own desires so that I can be the person He needs me to be, and to raise His beautiful children. This is not a show-up-on-Sunday kind of church. It is a get-down-and-dirty, all-in kind of church. It's not where I go each week, it's who I am, day in and day out. It is hard, yes, but so, so worth it. And I do not know where I would be without it.

In light of recent events, President Packer's next words really hit me:

"Regardless of opposition or 'wars, rumors of wars, and earthquakes in divers places,' no power or influence can stop this work. Every one of us can be guided by the spirit of revelation and the gift of the Holy Ghost. 'As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints.'"

And just in case you were wondering, when he said, "Every one of us"- he means you. This gospel is a great moving train pulled by the infinite power of the Savior, Jesus Christ. It will pull you through any trials you may face, and it will give you refuge from the storms of life.

Here is President Packer's- and my- invitation to you:

"If you are carrying some burden, forget it, let it alone. Do a lot of forgiving and a little repenting, and you will be visited by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost and confirmed by the testimony that you did not know existed. You will be watched over and blessed—you and yours. This is an invitation to come unto Him. This church—The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 'the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth,' by His own declaration—is where we find 'the great plan of happiness.' Of this I bear witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

AAAYYY-MEN!

Friends, I bear my testimony to you that the things President Boyd K. Packer has said are true. I know that he is an apostle of the Lord, and that he acts by the authority of Jesus Christ. I know that I am a member of the true church of Jesus Christ, and that His church is run by His priesthood authority and by the direction of the Holy Ghost. I have felt the power of the Holy Ghost in my life and I know that as I live my life in the way that President Packer outlined, I find true joy and happiness. I am grateful for this gospel in my life, and I know that by holding fast to the "train" I can get through any obstacles the world might throw at me. I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org. To read, watch, or listen more fantastic talks from the General Conference of the LDS Church, click here. To read more of what I have written about my own feelings about the church in my life, please feel free to browse through my Spiritual Sundays posts.

And please, please, share any comments you might have! My faith is strengthened by your words, and I would love to read your thoughts on this topic. :-)

Make sure you visit all the other wonderful LDS bloggers for their posts all about General Conference:

Annette Lyon: “Desire”

Annie Cechini: “The Spirit of Revelation”

Ben Spendlove: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”

Chantele Sedgwick: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”

Charity Bradford: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”

Jackee Alston: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”

Jenilyn Tolley: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”

Jennifer McFadden: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”

Jessie Oliveros: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”

Jolene Perry: “It’s Conference Once Again”

Jordan McCollum: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”

Kasey Tross: “Guided by the Holy Spirit”

Kayeleen Hamblin: “Become as a Little Child”

Kelly Bryson: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”

Krista Van Dolzer: “Opportunities to Do Good”

Melanie Stanford: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”

Michelle Merrill: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”

Myrna Foster: “Opportunities to Do Good”

Nisa Swineford: “Desire”

Sallee Mathews: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”

Sierra Gardner: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”

Tamara Hart Heiner: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”

The Writing Lair: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”

Spiritual Sundays- coming later this week!

CORRECTION: This is coming NEXT week, April 12th!! :-)

[I am itching to post a Spiritual Sundays post (because for those of you who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you know it was a spiritual Sunday for sure!) but I am going to have to wait, because this week I am very excited to be participating in an LDS Writers Blogfest! On Tuesday we will all be joining together to post about our favorite talks from General Conference on our blogs (and if you don't know what General Conference is, be sure to come back Tuesday!!). I will have my own post along with links to everyone else's. So great!

Soo....I'll see you later for a Spiritual Tuesday! :-)]

Spiritual Sundays: Your Highest Destiny

Today in our women's class at church, Relief Society, we talked about the principle of "consecration." Our lesson was based on a talk given by D. Todd Christofferson in the October 2010 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In his talk he said,

"To consecrate is to set apart or dedicate something as sacred, devoted to holy purposes. True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives—that is, our time and choices—to God’s purposes. In so doing, we permit Him to raise us to our highest destiny."

Really, the only thing I want to do after reading that quotation is to jump up and shout, "AAAYYY-MEN!!!" I feel that way because I know this to be so, so, so true. For me personally, I feel that I have been blessed with certain gifts and talents, and I know that when I use those talents to serve God, He blesses me and magnifies my talents to levels higher than I could ever achieve on my own.

Recently, I have struggled with trying to find a balance in my life. There are so many good things that I want to do- spend time with my kids, go running, write on my blog, write in my journal, write...other things! I want to be able to make my home a clean and beautiful sanctuary, I want to study my scriptures, I want to serve my friends, I want to cook wonderful meals, I want to serve in the community, I want to be thrifty through couponing. These are all things that take time, and most days I feel like I'm just running from one thing to the next, frantically giving half of my attention to everything and therefore truly succeeding at nothing! It was turning into a very frustrating cycle.

After the women's conference, I chose to use the following Sunday, a fast Sunday, and dedicate my fast to asking the Lord to help me find balance. I realized that I couldn't do it all, and I shouldn't be trying to do it all- I am not superwoman, and I don't think God expects any of us to do everything all at once. There is a time and a season. My question for the Lord was simply this: What do I really need to be focusing on, and how do I organize my time to accomplish what you desire of me?

Throughout my fast I had a feeling of comfort, and a feeling that God was more than happy to help me with this struggle. It was almost as if He was saying, "Why Kasey, I'm so glad you finally asked. Yes, here is what I would like for us to do together...." I say, "us", because I really felt that He is as invested in my life as I am, and He wants me to succeed, and is ready and willing to give me all the support I could possibly need.

As I prayed, I got the strong impression that my writing ability is a gift, and while this is a busy time in my life, it is the time that the Lord has appointed for me to develop and nurture my gift. Earlier this year I had started work on a poetry project but I had set it aside for lack of time and inspiration. Oddly enough, as soon as I received the answer from Heavenly Father that He wanted me to continue work on it, I suddenly had the inspiration for 5 more poems!

My next step was to ask for guidance in finding time for that which the Lord has directed me to do. I felt impressed to create a flexible schedule, with certain nights each week dedicated to the things I wanted to accomplish. I now have one evening for couponing, one for blogging, and one for writing. The other nights are open for time with my husband and time to catch up on things I didn't get accomplished on the "dedicated" nights. Having a set schedule has allowed me to be disciplined and accomplish things that I might not have otherwise done. For example, a friend sent me a link to an LDS radio show in which various LDS authors were discussing their writing careers and how writing has affected their lives. The show was quite long- about an hour- and I had put it off because I just didn't have the time. I used my first "write night" (hey, I like that!) to listen to the show, and it was very inspiring.

[Side note: I feel that I should say that while writing is my most important "side activity" right now, my main daily focus is on my role as a wife and a mother. That is my first calling, and the one that will- and should- consume the majority of my time. However, I feel that by pursuing my talents and nurturing my creativity with the Lord's help, I will become an even better wife and mother.]

Sometimes consecrating our lives involves simply asking God what He wants of us. From our church lessons and the scriptures and other sources we get an impossibly long to do list. It can feel completely overwhelming. And yes, God does ask us to do it all. But He doesn't ask us to do it all right now. I believe that there is a time and season for everything, and when we consecrate our time and our choices to the Lord, He will direct our paths and in so doing, "raise us to our highest destiny."

I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for guiding and directing my life each day. I am thankful for the talents He has given me and for His gentle guidance in helping me to use them to bless the lives of others. I pray that I might be an instrument for good in His loving hands.

Do you feel that you have consecrated your life, or certain parts of it, to God? Do you feel that doing so is helping to raise you to your "highest destiny"? I would love to read your thoughts on this!

For more on what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please check out www.mormon.org. :-)