Sunday, March 1, 2009

Spiritual Sundays: Unbeknownst to Me, I Was in Training



First, I would like to apologize that my "Beautiful Thrifty" blog has mostly turned into Spiritual Sundays posts. To be honest, they're my favorite to do, but I promise I won't let you down on the rest of the beautiful and the thrifty, because I love that too. I am still coming out of my first trimester so the motivation for thriftiness has been overtaken by the need for REST! But never fear- I have a few treats in store for you this week. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Last week I wrote about the fruits of my newfound scripture study/personal morning devotional time, and I remain grateful for the things I learned, but as I continued with it this week, it took on a whole new meaning as I faced a serious trial on Thursday. 

To protect everyone involved, I won't go into details, but let me just say that a good friend did something, purely by accident, that was very hurtful to me, and pretty shocking as well. She felt absolutely horrendous about it, and I know that she did, but I was so hurt and upset by what she had done, that it took me some time to work out my feelings and think through how I would handle it. Luckily (well, we know it wasn't luck) one of the first things that came into my mind as I began to attempt the process of forgiveness was a scripture I'd read the week before (that I'd mentioned in my last post)- Matthew 7:1-2:
"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

I pondered that scripture, and I began to think about how I would feel if I was my friend and had made such a mistake. I hope and pray that I never do, but our lives are full of uncertainty- what if I somewhere along the line I really screw up? Would I want to be cut off as a friend and never trusted again? I knew the answer was no. And I knew that the Lord was watching, and He would be paying very close attention to how I handled the situation, because sometime in the future I may be handed the same judgment as I gave my friend.

I also took some time to reflect on the Atonement, and on the book, The Peacemaker, which taught me so much about forgiveness and the way the Atonement works in our lives. I knew that Christ has already suffered for my friend- for her sin, and for her pain and guilt. I knew that He had suffered for me- for my anger against her, and for the pain her mistake caused me. To not forgive her would be to reject His suffering, and tell Him that it wasn't enough, because I would be holding on to my anger that He had already paid for and blaming her for something He had already erased. I know through my faith that He can restore and make whole any wrong that anyone ever commits against me. And I know that He loves her, and that He feels her pain as well. He doesn't want her to suffer, nor does He want me to suffer.

Armed with my faith in those things, I knew that forgiveness was essential, and that we could heal our friendship. I wrote my friend a letter, in which I expressed my feelings and extended forgiveness. I think it may take her more time to recover because of the guilt she felt, but I just hope that we can meet halfway and both begin to allow Christ to heal our hearts. She is special to me, and I do not want to lose her friendship. I hope that she believes that.

Back to my scripture study- as I looked over my study notes from the past few weeks, nearly everything I had written down became a strength to me in this trial. I had thought that my notes were little solutions to little problems- little did I realize that they were all merely small parts to a big solution to a bigger problem. The Lord had had me in training for this for 2 weeks and I never even knew. He knew the test I would face and He made sure He gave me the study materials I needed to pass it. Not that I've necessarily passed it yet, I think that really it's ongoing. Luckily, thanks to the gift of the scriptures, it's open-book, and every answer I will ever need can be found within His Word.

If you haven't picked up your scriptures in awhile, and a little voice is telling you to start, now would be the time. You never know when you might need the strength that they will bring!


6 comments:

  1. You're probably so tired, and don't feel well. I am looking forward to see what you are sharing this week.
    I really enjoyed your spiritual message. I think you hit it right on the head. And it just doesn't help us spiritually to stay angry and mad at someone. But with that said, it feels like climbing a mountain to get over such shockers.

    I'm sure with time, you to will be fine. And it will all be a good lesson learned.
    Have a great day.
    Sandra

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  2. Kasey,
    I just want to make sure you got credit for me on swagbucks. I saw you mention it on this blog(I had bookmarked your site after seeing your guest post on Money Saving Mom), and I use swagbucks. Email me privately at beckys1994@yahoo.com if you are not getting credited for it.

    thanks,
    Becky
    (also LDS and a former resident of Richmond--well, Mechanicsville)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I really admire you Kasey, and appreciate that insight into your testimony of the strength that comes through daily scripture study and the beauty of forgiveness. I hope everything works out with your friend.

    I still am not in the best habit of daily scripture study. I wish I never fell out of that habit. Until I get back to where I want to be spritually, it is good to know that I can look to you for a good example. Thanks!

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  4. If a friend did something that was truly accidental, how could you be so seriously hurt by that? Maybe I'm just not understanding...I don't mean to be insensitive, but I guess I just personally couldn't get so upset over an "accidental" event (other than someone running over a family member or a beloved pet or something)

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  5. Anonymous- all I can say is that I entrusted my friend with something very important and special to me, and she was careless with it to the point that had circumstances not been as fortunate as they had been, things could have turned out very badly. Her carelessness was simply due to her being preoccupied, and so I know that her actions were unintentional, but my trust in her suffered because of it.

    Again, in order to protect my friend I don't want to go into detail publicly, but if you would like the full story feel free to give me your e-mail address and I will share with you off-blog.

    I don't mind your honesty in asking- I am glad that you are obviously a very forgiving person. It is a good character trait to have.

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  6. Kasey,
    I think your additional explanation helped me understand where you were coming from. Thank you for taking the time to address my question :-)

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Comments make me happy. Nice to know I'm not just sitting here talking to myself. So, thank you!

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