Spiritual Sundays: You're Getting Warmer...

The view of a West Virginia sunset  from my parents' back deck on Thanksgiving.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience."

I was recently reading O Magazine and I came across an article by Martha Beck that I found very interesting. In the article, she discusses how oftentimes we find ourselves in a life that we don't like, and we're not quite sure how we got there or how we're supposed to change it. Many don't even know what kind of life they want- they can't even envision it- they just know that the life they have isn't working for them.

Beck then explains that each of us has our own personal GPS navigation system built in. She compares it to the game Warm/Cold, where something is hidden and in order to find it, you must respond to vocal cues of whether the direction you're going is "warmer" or "colder." If you are getting "warmer", then you should continue in the same direction. Likewise, if you are getting "colder" then you should change your course. 

We each have different aspects of our lives that make us feel warmer and colder. Some call our awareness of these feelings an "inner compass", some call it our conscience, and some just chalk it up to natural affinity. However, I believe that these feelings Martha Beck was writing about are the manifestation of the Light of Christ within each of us. In a talk entitled, "The Light of Christ", Elder Boyd K. Packer described this gift by saying, 

"The Light of Christ is defined in the scriptures as 'the Spirit [which] giveth light to every man that cometh into the world' (D&C 84:46); 'the light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed' (D&C 88:13; see also John 1:4–9; D&C 84:45–47; D&C 88:6; D&C 93:9)."

Personally, I see the Light of Christ as being kind of like a little tracking beacon that we each have that reminds us where we came from. No matter where we are, or what state we may be in spiritually or emotionally, there is still that little bit of our Heavenly home that is embedded within each of us, and it will lead us back there if we allow it to guide us.

I really love the quotation that I placed at the beginning of this post (I actually have it displayed in my home office) because it reminds me that above all things I am a spirit daughter of my Father in Heaven, and even though I may get all caught up in the human things of the world, it is those things that are not seen, those things that are only felt, that are the true purpose of my life here. This life is but a short human moment compared to the rest of my spiritual existence. It really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? I think really that the Light of Christ is simply a peaceful feeling of familiarity we get when we're engaged in activities that are true to our spiritual selves. It's kind of like when you're all grown up and out on your own and suddenly you catch the scent of your mother's perfume. There's a peace there, a sense of home and love that reminds you who you are and where you came from.

So back to the article about the warm/cold. I thought that Beck's comparison to the warm/cold game was really insightful. I may call it something different from her explanation, but the concept is the same: we are each searching for the warmth, and it is only when we pay close attention to what feels right that we can find it, and thus find the life we were meant to lead. When I say "what feels right" I'm not talking about the things that make our bodies feel good or the things that are entertaining to us. I'm talking about that spiritual homing beacon, that feeling of peaceful familiarity. That's what we should be paying attention to, and what will lead us to true joy.

I think that the most important part is to listen. We are all playing our own games of warmer/colder because in essence, we are all searching for one thing: real happiness. It would be ridiculous to play the game with earplugs in, yet that is what so many of us do- we wander around aimlessly, searching here and there, sometimes getting closer to our goal, sometimes moving farther away, never really paying attention to the clues that could lead us right to it, because we're far too busy with the business of searching. It's time to stop and listen, to look inside and hear that inner voice telling us which way is warmer and which is colder. I believe that by following the gentle guidance of the Light of Christ each of us can find the warmth of the  beautiful life that He has in store for us.

To learn more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: Inviting Him Back In

Notice, there is no handle on the outside of the door...

Over the last few weeks I have written about how we seem to have lost Christ in our Christmas celebrations, and about how He has given us the greatest gift of all. Today I wanted to address a few ideas for how we can bring Christ back to Christmas, and celebrate Him especially during the Christmas season- but not only during the Christmas season. Here are a few of our Christmas traditions, as well as some traditions I have heard about from other families, and things I hope to incorporate into my family as well.

- A new kind of advent calendar- I love the idea of a Jesse Tree, and recently I found a different version of this in the December issue of the Friend Magazine. With this sort of advent calendar, each day leading up to Christmas you look up a different scripture having to do with Jesus Christ. This is something that I have done a little bit of (though not consistently) with my kids this month for our morning devotionals. They get excited to get further along, and it's a great way to tie in the excitement with Jesus.

- Make your own decorations- Last year for a Family Home Evening activity, I printed up some scenes from the nativity story for our family to color- angels, shepherds, baby Jesus, etc. I took the pictures and hung them up as part of our Christmas decorations. I think it would be neat to do this every year and save the pictures so you can see how your family has grown as the children's coloring skills improve.

- Give a gift to Christ- As a family, have each person think of something they would like to work on during the coming year and write it down as their gift to Jesus. Ideas could include being nicer to siblings, reading scriptures, saying daily prayers, giving more service to others, etc. Place each note in a box and wrap it. The following year, open the gifts and see how you've done, then write new notes for the next year.

- Have a candlelight walk- On Christmas Eve, we like to turn out all the lights in the house except for one down by the nativity scene. After the kids have their pajamas on, we start in their rooms and light candles, then walk quietly downstairs to visit the Christ child in the manger. There we read the nativity story from the Book of Luke, and we sing Silent Night. It's a great way to peacefully bring the focus back to our Savior.

- Limit the gifts- I read about one family who decided that if Jesus received 3 gifts at His birth, then that was enough for their children on Christmas as well. They limited each child to 3 thoughtfully chosen gifts, reminding them that the Savior is first above all.

- Give gifts of the heart- Celebrate the love you have for family and friends by writing heartfelt notes to them. Rather than spending time and money on finding the perfect gift, instead spend the time to write them a letter about how much they mean to you. Notes and letters with genuine words can mean so much more than an expensive gift and a quickly scribbled card. These also make great stocking stuffers.

- Give gifts of time- This time of year can get pretty crazy, so set aside some time each week for a family activity. Have each family member write down something that they would like to do together as a family, whether it's watching a movie and having popcorn or driving around to look at the festive lights, then each week choose something to do. There's no better way to celebrate the Christmas season than spending quality time with your family.

- (And the Grand Finale) A different sort of gift exchange- I have a growing extended family, and buying gifts for everyone is getting increasingly overwhelming, both timewise and moneywise. This year we put a budget limit on gifts, but it still seems sort of crazy to me, especially when we all already seem to be so blessed- we all have roofs over our heads, food to eat, clothes to wear, jobs, and transportation. So my suggestion for my family for next year was this: let's take all the money we would have spent on Christmas gifts for each other and use it to help others who are less fortunate throughout the year. We will keep our good deeds a secret until Christmas, and at our annual get-together, rather than exchange gifts we will share our experiences helping others. We can even focus our efforts on a particular family member; for example, my mother absolutely loves horses (hers and everyone else's!) so I could donate bags of feed and maybe a few hours of my time to an equestrian rescue facility in her honor. My sister-in-law is very eco-friendly, so I could maybe plant some trees in her name. It would be like doing a family "Big Give" (like Oprah's Big Give), and it would be fun to see how creative we could be, and how far we could make our money go, not to mention the joy we would get from serving others. I am very excited about this idea, and I can't wait to see how it progresses over the years.

My favorite thing about this last idea is that it celebrates the true reason we exchange gifts- if Christ was on the earth, we would give Him gifts for Christmas. But He is not, yet He has said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." We give to others because by bringing joy to our brothers and sisters, we bring joy to our Savior. What better way to celebrate His birth in a meaningful way than by giving to those who need it the most?

Dear Friends, I sincerely hope and pray that this Christmas you resolve to invite Christ back in. How sad it would be to have a celebration of His birth where He was not invited as the honored guest! These are just a few suggestions that can get us started on the right path, that He may know how much we treasure Him and the ultimate gift He has given us through the example of His life and His death. 

Does your family have any special Christmas traditions that are focused on Christ? Please leave a comment and share!

Spiritual Sundays: The Ultimate Christmas Gift

Photo from Reflections of Christ by Mark Mabry

Over two thousand years ago, a child was born in a humble stable in Bethlehem, born to live a perfect life and to die a perfect death out of love for all mankind. Today I would like to consider the perfect gift that He has given to each of us through His Atonement.

The Atonement had always been something of a mystery to me. Growing up, in church I would hear all about how Jesus saved us from our sins, and that because He died for us, we can all return to live with our Father in Heaven again. But I never understood how. I couldn't make the connection between His suffering and death giving us eternal life. Fortunately, earlier this year I read a book called, "The Peacegiver" by James Ferrell. 

In this book, the author uses a story from the Bible to metaphorically illustrate the Atonement. One day as I was reading it while eating my lunch, I paused for a moment to go get something from the pantry and I remember stopping dead in my tracks, as the words I had been reading seemed to suddenly fall into perfect order, like pieces of a puzzle, and I could finally see the whole picture. I was so stunned, I immediately called my mother to share my insight with her.

What I learned that day in the kitchen is that as spiritual beings we live within a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum is total sin, or spiritual death, where Satan resides. On the other end is perfection and exaltation where Heavenly Father resides. The area in between these two extremes is like an obstacle course, with various temptations designed to test our spiritual strength, causing us to either fall back toward spiritual death or overcome and move closer to perfection. When Christ suffered for all mankind, He took a journey from the presence of the Father all the way through every obstacle (temptation) to the very edge of spiritual death and then turned around and passed back through every obstacle to return to exaltation. And throughout it all, He remained spotless and perfect. He never faltered on any temptation; He passed through each test with flying colors.

We are not perfect. We approach these temptations, these obstables, and we struggle. We falter and we fall, as we often try to manage them on our own. But because Christ has been through every possible obstacle we may face on our journey, He is a perfect Guide. He is standing right with us, and His hand is extended. He knows the best way to ford the river, to climb the walls, and to pick through the minefields of sin and temptation, yet we think we can do it on our own. What we don't understand is that we can't possibly climb that wall or ford that river on our own- these obstacles are designed to require two people to overcome them. We were never meant to take the journey alone, and we can only reach our Father in Heaven by taking Christ's hand that He offers us through His loving Atonement and letting Him pull us up and carry us over.

A few weeks ago I was asked to give a talk in church about Salvation and Exaltation, and as I was writing the talk, I was blessed with another deeper understanding of the love Jesus has for each of us. We often hear of Christ "suffering for our sins", and I think that many of us view His suffering much like suffering that we endure. But I realized, His suffering had nothing to do with the pain our sins caused Him- His pain was purely out of His sorrow for the pains our sins would cause us. It's like a mother whose child is about to fall from a great height. She reaches out her hand to catch him, and in doing so she cuts a deep gash in her arm. At that moment, she could care less about the pain in her arm- she cares only for the danger her child was in, and for the fear he was feeling. Her pain is not her own, much like the Savior's pain was not His own. 

The most beautiful part of this gift our Savior has given us is that He doesn't care how weak we are. He doesn't care if spiritually, we can barely put one foot in front of the other. He loves us so much that all we have to do is ask and He will gladly carry us over every obstacle. To Him we are precious and amazing and beautiful, and He wants desperately to help us, to take us in His arms and bring us safely home, yet so many of us push Him away. But no matter how many times He is pushed away, He loves us still, with a fierce and unwavering love that is without end. We may pridefully go our own way, but the second we humble ourselves and ask for Him, He will be by our side in a heartbeat, with nothing but love and guidance. What an incredible blessing and gift that is.

So this Christmas, I would like to celebrate this gift- the Ultimate Gift- that Christ has given us. It is His love, His love that has made it possible to return to our Father in Heaven despite all of our shortcomings and weaknesses. His love that reminds us that there is nothing in this life that we cannot overcome with Him by our side, if only we invite Him in. His love that sacrificed all that He had and ached for all we would have to suffer if not for Him. 

There is no way that I can ever give enough to Him to repay His gift to me, and so all I can offer is my heart, and my outstretched hand to accept His eternal gift of love. I will vow to forgive others, for I know that His gift was for them as well. And no matter how many times I may feel that I have been offended by another, my anger and hurt are unfounded because I know that whatever anyone else may take away from me, my Savior is there to give it back, for He has paid for the offender's sins as well. I will strive to share His love with those around me, that they too might be willing and able to accept His gift. I will try to live as He would have me live, that His gift to me might not be in vain.

May we all remember the Ultimate Christmas Gift, and celebrate this Christmas with an attitude of deep gratitude for all that He has given us.

To learn more about my beliefs as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit www.mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: What Happened to CHRISTmas?

The Nativity from Reflections of Christ by Mark Mabry

During my long post-Thanksgiving drive last weekend, I was listening to the radio and hearing a lot of Christmas music, which I love. But as I listened, I started to get really annoyed. I think the song was, "Joy to the World":

Joy to the world, the Lord is come

Let Earth receive her King

Let every heart prepare Him room...

As I listened to these words, I was frustrated, because here was a radio station that usually played all sorts of rock songs and love songs, and every other kind of random song- why was it that radio stations can only play music about Jesus Christ at Christmastime? If we really want earth to receive her King, and for every heart to make room for Him, then why only think about Him once a year? Why does the world only celebrate the "reason for the season" during the season? 

Our Savior has given us everything- He came to earth as a man and suffered all pains and afflictions so that all mankind could be saved, and mankind only seems to notice for one month out of the year, and unfortunately, even that one month has gotten so polluted with the bells and whistles of celebration that most people have forgotten what we're even celebrating. That's what bothers me.

If you think about it, it was really quite the clever plan that Satan devised. He took the celebration of the sacred birth of Jesus Christ and said, "Hmm...how can I turn this away from Christ and instead focus it on all my favorite things- selfishness, greed, stress, pride, and frivolity?" So then he took the part of Christmas that was supposed to celebrate our desire to become more Christlike- the giving of gifts- and made it all about the gifts rather than the giving. Christmas has become all about the gifts. It's about shopping, wrapping, baking, trees, and decorations. It's about making lists of things you want to get, and lists of things you have to buy. It's about giving a gift that's better than everyone else's, and most likely spending more money than you have to do so. Somewhere along the way, Christ got forgotten amid all the shopping and wrapping and partying.

So I would like to challenge you to put Christ back in your Christmas. And I will offer you two places to start. The first is a beautiful piece of prose entitled, "Mary's Dream." I loved this so much that I sent it out to our friends and family last year as our Christmas card.

The second is a bit of homework in preparation for next week's Spiritual Sunday post- I would like you to visit Reflections of Christ. I will warn you ahead of time- this will probably touch your heart and perhaps make you cry. It is a slideshow of some incredible art photography of the Savior's life set to music, and it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It touches me every single time. I think that watching this is a beautiful way to truly celebrate Christmas.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."- John 3:16

For more about what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, check out www.mormon.org.

Spiritual Sundays: Help from the Source

I had a feeling when I took this picture that it would end up on a Spiritual Sundays post... ;-)

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and in our church we have no paid clergy. Our bishop, teachers, and all auxiliary leaders are extended a "calling" in which they are asked to serve in a particular position. There is no set length of time for service, you simply serve until you are asked to serve elsewhere. You can accept or decline a calling, but all are encouraged to pray about their callings, as we believe they come not from church leaders, but from God.

Over my time as a member of the Church, I have had the opportunity to serve in many callings, and it has been a blessing to me and to my family. Most recently, I have served with the youth in the Young Women organization, and currently I am serving as a leader for the children in the Primary. My service in the various positions has taught me many lessons, but the one that stands out most to me is this: when you are doing what God wants you to do, He will help you more than you could possibly imagine.

I have had so many instances where I have found that to be true, and it is a lesson that everyone can learn, not just those giving service in a church. Every mother has a sacred calling from God to raise His children, and every father has a calling to lead and provide for his family. These are all things for which the Lord will give us guidance if only we ask. It brings to mind the words of a favorite song, called "The Word" by Christian singer Sara Groves-

I've heard every devotional, been every place emotional 

Tried to hear new word from God and I think it's very odd

That while I attempt to help myself my Bible sits upon the shelf

With every promise I could ever need

And the Word was, and the Word is, and the Word will be

And the Word was, and the Word is, and the Word will be

People are getting fit for truth like they're buying a new tailored suit

Does it fit across the shoulders? Will it fade when it gets older?

They throw ideas that aren't in style in the Salvation Army pile

And search for something more to meet our needs

But the Word was, and the Word is, and the Word will be...

I love those words because I see myself in them- when I struggle with problems with my children, when I have difficult family relationships, I have a tendency to want to consult Dr. Phil's latest book or watch Super Nanny. I'm not saying that those aren't useful sources of information, but wouldn't our Father maybe have the best angle on our problems? After all, He knows each of us personally, and not only does He know us but He knows everyone in our lives, and not just our outsides, but our insides too. 

I'll go back to my church calling as an example, simply because it is there that I have seen the most obvious difference between when I ask for His help and when I try to go it alone. I will never forget the Sunday that I was supposed to teach the children and I prepared my lesson all by myself- without divine help- and it just didn't feel right. I couldn't put my finger on the problem- it just didn't quite feel right. So I gave my lesson and it was fine, but it wasn't anything special.

Fast forward to the next week when one of the other leaders, who had been out of town the week before, was teaching the children. Well, she had prepared the exact same lesson as me (we go by a monthly theme and we are free to prepare our own lessons within the theme). It was then that I realized why the lesson hadn't felt right- it was because she was the one who was supposed to give it. Heavenly Father knew that and He was trying to tell me and I just didn't listen. I can't help but wonder what lesson He would have had me teach that day, and what the children and I may have missed because of my stubbornness.

Time and time again I have struggled to prepare a lesson and just felt like I was getting nowhere- like I was trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle that I didn't have all the pieces for, and the pieces were mixed in with pieces from another puzzle, and I didn't have a picture of what the completed puzzle should look like anyway so I didn't even know what exactly I was trying to accomplish! But I have learned that when I pause and say a heartfelt prayer asking Heavenly Father to guide my efforts that I may serve Him and His children in a way that is pleasing unto Him, and speak the words that He would have me speak, and give the lesson that He would have me give, it is like I am given a brand-new puzzle, where every piece fits together perfectly and creates a beautiful picture.

So here, in a brief summary, are a few tips for asking for help from the Source:

- Pay attention to your heart. Your head may tell you that you have what you need to solve a problem or to give a lesson or whatever the case may be, but that nagging feeling may be telling you otherwise. Listen.

- Don't be afraid to start over. Once you get that feeling, you may think that you're too far along the path you've already set for yourself using your own devices. Don't be afraid to stop on the path and get on your knees. If the Lord shows you a different path, then trust in Him and change your route.

- Be still and listen. Sometimes when we pray we spend a lot of time talking to God but not much time listening for His answers. Whenever I am praying for guidance, I make sure to do it in a quiet place, and then I have a few moments of quiet meditation after my "Amen." In my mind, I imagine letting my thoughts just float, and allowing the Lord to capture and bring me the ones that He wants me to act on.

- Let God speak to you in His own way. Sometimes I hear complaints from people that they don't think they ever get answers to prayers. My response? Tell God you can't hear Him! I have had times when I've felt like no one up There was listening, so I simply prayed, "Heavenly Father, I really need an answer here and I feel like I'm not getting one. Please show me in a way I can recognize and understand." He has never failed me on this, and as your relationship with Him grows, His answers will become more familiar to you, and the lines of communication will become clear.

- Say Thank You. It's easy to get excited when we receive an answer to our prayers, and to just run off to solve our problem. Just don't forget the One who gave you the answer, and thank Him for His kind mercy.

In closing, I will share some more of my favorite words from "The Word" by Sara Groves, which she took from the book of Romans:

And neither death nor life nor present nor future nor depth nor height can keep us from the love of Christ

And the Word I need is the Word that was, that brought the Father to dwell with us

In the Beginning

And the Word was, and the Word is, and the Word will be

And the Word was, and the Word is, and the Word will be.

Can you tell the difference between when you ask for help and when you don't? I would love to read your comments about this!

Spiritual Sundays: In Weakness We Find Strength

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka a "Mormon", and on the first Sunday of every month we practice Fast Sunday. On this day, we abstain from food and drink for 24 hours or 2 meals (usually we begin after an early dinner on Saturday and then break our fast with dinner on Sunday evening). 

We believe that through fasting we can become closer to God, because as our bodies become weaker, our spirits can become stronger. It is also a way of simply practicing "mind over matter" and demonstrating that although we have mortal bodies, the desires of our bodies do not outweigh the desires of our hearts and spirits. In that way we practice a sort of "spiritual control" which is essential when resisting all forms of temptation. Furthermore, by fasting we signify our dedication to God, and give up our will for His will.

Well, today is Fast Sunday, and I fasted (which, by the way, I discovered is remarkably easier to do when you have a cold) and as I was fasting I reflected on why we fast, and how suffering a weakness in one part of our lives can create strengths in other areas, much like someone who loses their sight reports developing a heightened sense of smell, touch, or hearing.

I think that we can even relate that principle to our financial lives- I have found that when my bank account becomes weaker, my creativity somehow manages to become stronger. When I have less, I seem to appreciate more. I thought back to last Sunday's post about the beauty I saw in the world around me, and I couldn't help but wonder, If I was a multi-millionaire living in a mansion somewhere, would I still appreciate the beauty of autumn? I would like to think that I would, but I honestly don't think I would draw the same kind of inspiration from it that I do in my current situation.

Don't get me wrong- this is not to say that rich people don't appreciate the beauty of God's world- I'm sure that most of them do. I just think that living simply eliminates a lot of distractions, and allows us to focus on the world around us in such a way that we appreciate beauty differently, just as a hungry person has a different appreciation for food than a well-fed person might. 

And it is for this reason that today I thank Heavenly Father for my weak bank account, because it helps me to see the value and beauty in the world around me beyond the monetary amount. It helps me to develop talents and skills I might not have otherwise tapped, and it allows me to be grateful every day for what I do have- my health (aside from the cold, of course!), my family, the gospel, and the earth in all its splendor. 

I know that even if I had not one dollar left to my name, no home, no possessions, that those things I value most would still be there and nobody could repossess them but God, and nobody could make me pay for them because they are gifts from God. Should He choose to "repossess" them, I know that He has promised me that if I keep His commandments and just do the best I can, then someday He will return them to me an hundred fold. I thank Him for giving me this beautiful thrifty life, that I may grow and learn and be grateful, and I pray that I may fulfill His plan for me and find strength in all my weaknesses.

It's the beginning of November, the month of Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?

Spiritual Sundays: Of Heavenly Hands

I love long drives. Okay, so not all long drives (more than about 2 hours each way and I start to get a little testy), but on Friday I drove from Richmond to Charlottesville, which is not so bad, and wow, did I get a show along the way. The leaves are all either at their peak of color or close to it, and they were the most brilliant shades of crimson red, dusky gold, and fiery orange. I probably looked pretty silly to the other drivers, as I was driving down the road just gazing out the windows with this big stupid grin on my face. But fall has always been my favorite time of year, and there is something about the autumn leaves that just brings me such joy. As I was driving I felt like I was driving through an art gallery with the most breathtaking paintings created by the finest Artist ever to set a brush to a canvas.

Today I took another long drive with more magnificent scenery on my way out to my in-laws' home in the country, but the most magnificent scene was when it was time to start the drive back home, and it was dark. I was just putting the children in the car when I happened to glance up, and the vast night sky was absolutely sparkling with stars. I actually stopped what I was doing and just stood there staring up into the twinkling sky, and I think my husband put the kids in the car, because as I was gazing I felt him touch my arm and tell me it was time to go. It was hard to leave- you just don't get to see stars like that in the suburbs where we live. I think I even saw the Milky Way stretched out above me. I could have just taken a blanket and sat out there all night taking in the wonder of that majestic sky.

All of this got me thinking, and I remembered the words to a favorite hymn:

For the beauty of the earth, for the beauty of the skies

For the joy which from our birth over and around us lies

Lord of all to Thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

Those simple words seem to encompass my feelings when I see the Lord's creations. And I realized- the most beautiful things on this earth are not man-made. And they are all around us- "for the joy which from our birth over and around us lies." We don't have to search too hard for it- it lies around us, above us, and within us. True beauty comes from those things that are made by God and are in His Hands. 

You know the best part? God made each of us. We are His children, made in His own image, created for His divine purposes. The only problem is that we try to mess with what He made. The trees don't try to paint themselves to be beautiful. They are in God's hands and they give Him free reign, awaiting all year their moment to shine, when He allows them to be more than they could ever be on their own. They go through winter, where their branches are bare, and they are not much to look at; they start to show promise in spring, when buds begin to flower; then the buds fade into the greenery of summer, which becomes merely a backdrop for flowers to bloom. But in autumn- they are in the spotlight.

Likewise, the stars do not shine for us all the time. They are covered up by clouds and smog, washed out by the glare of city lights, and fade every morning with the coming dawn. But they don't try to come closer to earth so we can see them better, and they don't try to push away the clouds or shut off the city lights. They wait patiently for their moment to shine, and then when they do- what a brilliant sight it is.

We all go through seasons in our lives when we feel less than we could be. We search for ourselves in self-help books, trying this new method or that. We look for approval and accolades from our friends and family, but we forget that if we simply put our lives in His hands, that He can make more of us than we ever could on our own. We must be patient and wait for our moment to shine, but when we do- He will show us that we are truly sons and daughters of the Master.

Let's be like those splendid trees and marvelous stars, waiting patiently on the Lord, for when we give our lives to Him, He will make us shine brighter than we could ever know.

Spiritual Sundays: Making Home a Sanctuary

This may sound familiar if you read my Spiritual Sundays post a few weeks ago, entitled "Preparing and Protecting Our Children." I would like to go back to part of that topic and focus on making our homes sanctuaries, simply because I think it is such an important part of our everyday lives, and it can provide a firm foundation for our families as we struggle to live in a world where our values are constantly tested.

Why do I believe this is so important? There are two main reasons.

First, the public world we go to every day (whether school, work, shopping, socializing, etc.) is often a test for our moral standards. We are constantly faced with things that tempt us to make choices that go against what we know to be true in our hearts. Standing up to those "spiritual attacks" requires spiritual strength. Each day as we go back to our homes, we should be able to have an opportunity to fortify those spiritual reserves- not only to replace what strength might have been lost, but to increase and build our own testimonies that we may be a light unto others.

Secondly, when our homes are sanctuaries of peace and love where the Spirit of God can dwell, then they will be places where our families will want to be. So many of the struggles we face today are because we are drawn outside the home- husbands that work overtime or spend too much time socializing with those other than their spouse and children, leading to damaging affairs and alienation from their families; teenagers who sneak out to be with peers who take part in questionable activities; even mothers who indulge in inordinate amounts of "me time", leaving their homes and families to fend for themselves. When we make our homes islands of warmth, acceptance, love, and beauty, then they will draw our family members back, strengthening the family unit as a whole.

I believe that in order to accomplish these two goals, we need to "begin with the end in mind" as Stephen Covey would say. Every family is different, so each family's idea of their home sanctuary will be different. It might even be helpful to sit down with your family, or even just your spouse, and ask them what they believe a happy home should be. The question I like to ask myself when I feel something is missing is: When you open the door after a long day, what do you want to see/hear/feel when you walk in the door? The physical home atmosphere is just as important as the spiritual one. I have found in my own life that it is difficult to feel the Spirit in my home when it is messy, there is loud music or a tv blaring, or when I am stressed with housework, losing things I need, etc. 

So here are a few of my suggestions that are also my own personal goals for making my home a place of peace, comfort, and love:

- Begin each day with a prayer, both alone and with the family/children.

- Prepare for the day the night before, by laying out clothes and shoes, doing the dishes, and doing a general pick-up around the house.

- Plan dinner ahead of time (I like to have a full week of menus set at the beginning of the week so I don't even have to think about it).

- Play some soft instrumental music- this will bring peace into my home faster than anything else I've found. I highly recommend the music of Paul Cardall or Mindy Gledhill.

- Light a nicely scented candle. This brings warmth, light, and a pleasant aroma into the home.

- Open shades and blinds to let sunlight in. This is an easy thing to forget, especially when you have little ones that nap- I always forget to open the shades when they get up!

- Keep smiling. You are the heart of your home, and your attitude can make or break the spirit in your home.

- Speak softly (without the big stick!). It is amazing how the tone and volume of your voice can affect the outcome of a confrontation. Next time you feel like you want to yell, whisper instead. Everyone else will have to get quiet to hear you. :-)

- Give abundant praise and express heartfelt gratitude. Each person in the family has an expected role, but when that role goes overlooked and unacknowledged, threads start to unravel from the fabric of the family. Even if a task is something that is expected, give appreciation for doing it. Thank your husband for going to work, thank your children for putting their dishes in the sink, and above all, give praise for anyone who displays a positive and loving attitude. 

- Leave extra time. One of the biggest stresses in daily life is the rush to get somewhere on time. If you find yourself doing that often, then plan ahead the next time to wake up earlier, start preparing to leave sooner, or whatever you need to do. If an extra 5 minutes isn't enough, then plan 10; if that's not enough then 15, and so on. The kids will be happier and so will you.

- Display reminders of what you believe in. Hang images of Christ, favorite scripture quotations, or anything else that inspires you and helps you to feel peace.

- End the day with a prayer of thanksgiving and a blessing upon your home, that our Heavenly Father may help you to invite His presence into your home, that your family may have a safe refuge from the cares of the world where they might feel His love surround them always.

It is my hope and my prayer that I can incorporate these things into my home, and that you may find inspiration in these ideas as well. May our homes be sanctuaries where we can feel God's presence in our lives and our families can grow in spiritual strength and love.

What are some ways that you have found to make your home a haven from the world? Please share a comment!

Spiritual Sundays: Keeping the Focus in the Right Place

This morning we were on our way to church, and my son said something interesting- he said, "Look Mommy, some people aren't going to church today." 

I kind of wondered where that came from, and so I asked him, "Yeah, why do you think they aren't going to church?" 

He replied, "I think that they don't want to learn about Jesus." Hmm. Interesting thought.

 "Why do you think they don't want to learn about Jesus?" I asked him.

 "Because they don't want to do the things that Jesus wants them to do," was his answer.

I looked at my husband, and we both raised our eyebrows a bit and shrugged. He's only four and he's hit the nail on the head with why we turn away from God. It's not because we don't believe He exists, or even that we don't love Him- it's because He's telling us all the stuff we don't want to hear! 

Last night I was watching that show, "The Desperate Housewives of Atlanta," not because I admire these women or identify with them, but because I am amused by the depth of their shallowness. It's an oxymoron, it's true, but the things that they say and do simply amaze me. What really hit me while watching it was these two women who had had some kind of a breakdown in their friendship- a tiff, or whatever you'd like to call it- and they were trying to "make amends." So in order to do this, one woman invited the other one to her massive party-of-the-year birthday extravaganza, and kept talking (to the cameras) about how at this party she would be the queen and everyone would know it and blah blah blah I'm-just-the-stuff-and-don't-you-forget-it. So then the invitee (the birthday girl's rival) is going on and on about how she is just going to get THE hottest dress and THE cutest shoes and have her makeup done all up so that everyone at that party knows that she is the queen of everything and blah blah blah.

Wow. What a touching reunion that would be.

As I was watching this, I was thinking about how ridiculous it all was. I was thinking that most likely, even if they do look so incredibly amazing (as they obviously thought they would) who would even notice? They're all so into themselves that they probably couldn't see far enough past their own makeup-covered noses to even see if Michele (or whoever) was wearing Christian Dior!

My point is, when we spend all our time focused on our physical outsides, our spiritual insides begin to slowly rot away. They don't just freeze in suspended animation- they deteriorate and wilt away like a plant without sunlight and water, only worse because we're constantly feeding it the poison of either "I'm not good enough" or "I'm better than everybody." The only measure we have of how good our outside is is to compare it with everything else that's outside, and there is nothing perfect out there in the world, so we can never measure up to anything that's worth measuring up to. The only thing that is perfect is Jesus Christ, whom we can only find spiritually. Why do we spend time comparing ourselves with celebrities whose lives turn out questionable, at best, when we have the perfect example of what we could be in Jesus Christ? As we continue to feed our spirits with poison, we lose our taste for anything that is truly good- it just feels too uncomfortable, too real. It is easier to hide outside ourselves.

Let's turn our focus back on Him, and try to emulate His life and His spirit, and quit worrying about how we look while we're doing it. We will always look our best when we're looking to Him.

This is something I've got to work on- how about you? Any thoughts?

Spiritual Sundays: Preparing and Protecting Our Children

"The righteous woman's strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help enrich, to protect, and to guard the home- which is society's basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife."

 - President Spencer W. Kimball, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

With my son starting preschool this fall, it has really begun to hit home that while he may always be my baby boy, he is starting to outgrow the nest and I need to prepare him with some wings to start flying on his own. When our kids go off to preschool, elementary school, middle school, and even high school and college, we can't be there to cover their ears when somebody says a bad word. We can't make them tell somebody sorry when they hurt their feelings, and we can't explain why kids are making fun of the girl who looks different. Which is why these things need to be taught at home.

There are many things we can do to prepare and protect our children from the un-Christlike situations that they will encounter on a daily basis, for it would be unwise and neglectful of us to allow them to take on the world without giving them the tools they need to protect themselves. I'm certainly not a parenting expert or anything, but I wanted to just share a few of my goals for this school year that I hope will continue until my kids leave home.

1. Have a Morning Devotional. I just started this two weeks ago, and I am really glad I did. In the morning before school, I gather the kids at the kitchen table or on the couch and we sing a Primary song, read a story from the Friend magazine, and have a prayer. This gives us some family time before we separate for the day and gets us in that right mindset that we need to deal with whatever comes our way during the day. It only takes about 10 minutes, but it is time well spent.

2. Have some after school one-on-one time. This is another habit we've gotten into- when my little guy gets home from school we sit in our big papasan chair together and go over his folder and talk about his day. My hope is that it gives him that safe place to be with Mommy and re-connect. When he gets older and starts facing tougher situations, my hope is that we can use that time to work together on his concerns.

3. Practice at home. The same way that we practice schoolwork and help children study for tests at home, we should also practice for the tests of life. My goal is to seize those moments when the children aren't getting along or someone's feelings have gotten hurt and use them to teach. Lately when my son has done something wrong, instead of telling him to apologize or to clean something up, I just ask him, "What do you think you should do?" Turns out, he knows the answer! And he is more likely to do it when it is his own idea. I hope that this will encourage him to independently make these good choices when he is outside the home.

4. Make home a safe haven from the world. This is one that I hear from church leaders all the time- that our homes should be a peaceful refuge from the stresses and concerns we face in our day-to-day activities. That can be tough, especially when so many of those stresses and concerns seem to happen at home! However, I hope to try to contain my temper and help promote a feeling of peace and love in our home. I will also try to promote these feelings by being organized (so I can be calm!) keeping our home clean and beautiful through daily routines.

5. Continue with Family Home Evening, family prayers, family dinners, and family scripture study. These are all things that we do regularly, and as my son has grown I have definitely seen how much he learns from these times together. I want to take advantage of his sponge-like little brain and put as much good stuff in there as I can! I also want to emphasize that our family time is important and that it is something to be treasured and enjoyed. 

These are just a few of my goals that I hope will prepare and protect my little ones as they become big(ger) ones! I love my children dearly, and I know that they are special blessings from God. I pray every day that I can lead them and guide them in the way that He would have me do, for I know that they are His before they are mine. Our responsibility is a solemn and wonderful one- let's treat it as such!

In what ways do you prepare and protect your children to help them keep the faith? Leave a comment and share!

Spiritual Sundays: How do I help?

A woman in tears as she surveys the damage left by Hurricane Ike in Galveston, Texas.

I wrote recently on the topic of giving (see Give A Little Bit), and I would like to go back to that topic a bit today. I remember that about this time a few years ago after Hurricane Katrina had hit the Gulf Coast, I was really struggling with feelings of helplessness. I remember watching a woman who was in tears because her months-old baby needed formula and she had none to give him. I cried right along with her and desperately wished I could just go give her some, and take her and her baby and bring them home with me! 

There was so much need there, so many people in desperate situations, and I felt like there was nothing I could do to help. At one point, I was so distraught that I went to my knees in prayer. I asked the Lord what I could possibly do to help these people. I knew that with 2 young ones myself I could not just pack up the car and drive myself down there like so many others were doing. I didn't have a lot of money to give. I prayed that I might know of a way that I, singular and small though I may be, could somehow help.

Heavenly Father touched my heart with an answer that filled me with comfort. His answer came four-fold:

1. Give what you can. Give as much as you can and your offering will be enough.

2. Just pray. Pray for those who are afflicted and I will hear your prayers and uplift them.

3. Learn. Learn from this terrible disaster and prepare yourself for the same. You never know when it could be you, and the best thing you can do is to be prepared.

4. Be grateful. Look around you and be grateful for your comfortable home, your health, and your safety. Quit complaining about meaningless troubles and express gratitude to God for your blessings, for there are many who are not as fortunate as you.

Now when I see disaster and tragedy I think of this counsel from Heavenly Father and I try to follow it. I donate to our church's Humanitarian Aid fund that goes to assist hurricane victims and other victims of natural disasters; I pray privately and with my family for those affected by terrible circumstances; I do my best to have sufficient supplies stored for my family and a plan in place in case of an emergency (see Water, Water, Everywhere); I try to curb my complaining and embrace feelings of gratitude, and express those feelings to those around me and to my Father in Heaven.

Perhaps there are many of you that can do more, and I encourage you to do so. But if you are like me and you feel helpless when confronted with scenes of suffering, I would ask you to go to your Heavenly Father and consult with Him that He might counsel you in His will for you. He is there to answer your prayers if only you ask.

In closing, I would like to say that I am truly grateful for all that I have; for my family, my home, and my beautiful life. The Lord has blessed me far more than I deserve, and I appreciate every bit of it! May He watch over all those who are in need of His care at this time, and may He be with them in their times of trial, to give them strength and comfort where others cannot. May they look to Him for guidance and relief, and may His Spirit be with them always.

Hang on Little Tomato

Okay, so that's a weird title for this post, but it's the title of a song (and an album) by Pink Martini, one of my favorite bands, and I think of it every time I'm in the garden!

Anyway, today I just wanted to write about a God-breeze I had (for those of you who are not familiar with the term "God-breeze" it is borrowed from Flylady and it covers anytime you have a moment of inspiration and contentment). I was out in the garden with my children last week, and the weather was really nice- not nearly as humid as it has been, and the sky was blue and the sun was shining and there were white puffy clouds and a pleasantly cool breeze. I was sitting on my bench under my favorite tree by the garden gate and I was just enjoying the delightful weather, when I realized that my enjoyment of the weather was being heightened by my garden. I've always been one to appreciate a glorious day, but since I have been caring for my garden this summer, I seem to have extended my mothering instincts to my little tomato plants (and my one butternut squash plant, can't forget him!). As I was enjoying the weather, I wasn't just appreciating it for me and my children, but I was appreciating it on a deeper level for the way that the sun was gently encouraging my little plants to grow. I was admiring the clouds for the moisture that they carried that would nourish my little plants and help them flourish. I was enjoying the little insects buzzing around that pollinated the flowers. I was admiring the worms for their dedicated tunneling that would loosen and enrich the soil so that the roots would have room to stretch. 

At that moment it just seemed that all of nature was helping me to produce these beautiful sweet tomatoes (and squash, of course) that would eventually nourish my family, and I was just grateful. Grateful to God for giving us such a beautiful world, and for creating a perfect system in which all parts work together for a great purpose. In my case, that great purpose is a humble little tomato and squash garden, but to me it is special, because I helped to create it. I remember once reading a long list of ways to feel closer to God, and it included things like read your scriptures, pray, give service to others, but the one thing on the list that surprised me was "plant a garden." Now I really understand why! When you plant a garden, you are harmonizing with God in His creations, and you are being industrious, yet gentle. You cannot stuff a seed into the ground and then yank up a plant. It takes patience, loving care, gentle coaxing, much as our Father helps each of us to grow. And then, if given enough time and love, you will be rewarded with an abundance of beautiful fruits to nourish and sustain you.

I decided to write about this on here because gardening is such a wonderful way to feed your family delicious, quality fruits and vegetables while spending only a few cents for the seeds and a fraction of your time each day. But not only will you enjoy the end result, you will grow to appreciate the journey, and gain a deeper appreciation for all of God's creations along the way.

How does your garden grow?